Feeling down..

A sudden urge to come create my own blog.. i guess it's e stress i've been facing lately..
e quarrel wif my dear juz nw juz made me feel down..

normally, wen i quarrel wif him.. over anything.. we'll settle it overnight, over e phone..
talk till we come to a compromise..

but today is really bad.. i can't talk it out wif him rite nw!! he's confined in army..
i guess he's facing a lot of stress.. so many restrictions.. n then, his gf is one whom he can't control..

why is everybody so unhappy abt me being in dance! Well, nt exactly EVERYone.. but my parents n dear..
trust me.. it's a dilemma for me.. my love for dance vs. being thoughtful to them.. it's selfish to onli think of myself
n do whatever i like.. ok.. if my activities dun affect them, it's ok.. but my late return frm dance prac is causing my dad to lose some sleep.. n make my dear unhappy.. but if r nt a lover of dance, u'd nt understand e feeling of dancing n performing on stage.. plus e bond wif ur fellow dancers..

hm.. maybe i'm really to occupied wif my activities tt i really have no more time n energy to think of wat others has to say..
sometimes, i juz wished tt i've all e freedom in e world to do wat i wan to.. dun have to tink of wat others has to say..
but again.. priority!!

dear told me to prioritize my stuff.. he didn't ask me to put him as e first.. but i did anyway.. but then, i didn't really cancel all my activities.. i juz try nt to increase any commitments.. perhaps tis is still nt enuff rite? hw much is enufff? cancel all?
i really dunno.. i really can't put my things in e best way dear wants.. i'm really in dilemma.. i've a lot of interest.. n urge to learn new things..

but time dun allow me to.. dear dun wan to me commit myself too much.. dear, i'm nt blaming u at all.. i know it's for my own good.. i already have too much to handle.. ya.. look at my studies.. a mess!!

hai.. depressed..

a lot of things in mind.. but nt enuff time to blog..

TIME!!! why r u so short? does it makes u more precious?? i guess it did..
dear always complain i've no time for him.. i'm really cutting as many activites down as i can to accompany him.. does dear know? it's nt tt time spent wif dear is nt enjoyable.. indeed, time is e sweetest wif him.. but wat i juz wan is tt he can support at least a few of my activites.. or at least, dun oppose.. i juz seek his understanding.. i dun even have much time wif my family mbrs or myself..

1:40AM, wed..

dear.. i really miss u..