I like to dream..

I love to dream!

dream of my ideal lifestyle.. career.. future..

there's a saying, "u'll nv go higher than wat u dream"..
indeed, i truly believe in tt.. so dream big! so even if u fall u'll land among e stars, when u aimed e moon..

dream no. 1:
being a performer.. i simply love being on stage.. singing, dancing or playing e piano.. i'd enjoy it equally.. i'd love e life, when i'd b gg from classes to rehearsal to publicity shows.. so on..
music is my passion.. n if u can have a job tt is something of ur passion, u won't feel like u're working!

dream no. 2:
setting up a costumes/ fashion shop..
fashion is my interest no. 2.. juz tt i didn't really go explore much of it yet..
i'd design n make my own "brand" n clothes.. even dance costumes or party costumes..
i can help u design ur entire outfit.. n charge u as a whole package.. e good thing is tt i can do stuff like designing or making jewelleries when i'm free in e shop.. (time fully made good used of)
den when business gets better, i'd get more shops n even go abroad to push my business.. hehe.. great dream too right?

dream no. 3:
music cafe cum music sch.. haha.. i know tis is an existing concept.. like ark music cafe cum sch does.. but i tot of making it more special.. =p
make it a place where musicians n artists like to gather.. n even non-musicians start liking music aft coming.. a music land..

dream no. 4:
being a motivational speaker.. hehe.. dear said i'd be more of an entertainer than motivator..
but who cares.. as long as i make e seminar interesting n meaningful n impactful.. i get my satisfaction.. i'd go anyway.. schs, community centre, office, fsc.. as long as i'm wanted..

dream no. 5:
being a psychologist.. specializing in prob child, education or social psychology..
i wanna help improve another person's life.. changing them one by one..

I love to dream.. n i believe tt it's a beautiful thing to do.. a hopeful, destressing thing to do also..

n i dun like to think e way most ppl in society think.. or at least i tink they do..
i know we need to be practical n for practical reasons, we need to.. yada yada..

i dun believe in so.. true enuff.. we need money for survival.. it's a basic requirement..
but i won't want to take tt as e most impt factor.. i won't want to work in a job where i'm v unhappy, though highly paid.. i'd rather take a humble job n b happy.. u live to work n work to live.. tt's truly sad life..

but if u add something more.. like a sense of purpose of doing something.. everything changes!!

first thing first.. u'll b happy.. when u're happy.. u can bring happiness to ppl ard u too! spread ur joy..

okay.. enuff of dreaming for nw.. gonna go study!!

A bright new day!!

Well, i can't probably be in the mood to study if i dun pull my spirits up..
dear is still unhappy n wan me to cut down activities.. but seriously, wat can i cut down? sleep perhaps.. i really need a long talk wif him.. but he's in camp.. hw to? msg him.. his hp also has prob.. always can't rcv my sms..

but putting that aside, i need to use e time today wisely.. i'm really v lag in my studies.. sometimes i feel that i'm nt full-time student.. but part-time student.. part-time dancer.. part-time.. e list goes on.. juz nt so much time to study anymore, as in jc n sec.. i'm still trying to find a balance.. dear told me.. u can't balance everything.. perhaps he's rite..

well, e real difference b/w dear n i is tt i can put aside my feelings n do my work if necessary.. but dear can't..
i've lots of interest n wanted to pursue them.. dear didn't, or at least, he didn't voice it out..
dear can sacrifice everything for me.. i can't..
so dear always asking if we really compatible..

if u r such a perfectionalist.. u'd say.. we're nt..

but who in e world is perfectly compatible for u?

if u r looking for someone like tis.. u'd prob stay single for e rest of ur life..

nothing is perfect.. we all admit tt.. so why can't we b diff, bt yet still b a loving couple?

i hope dear understand tis..

getting my engine started for e day..

Feeling down..

A sudden urge to come create my own blog.. i guess it's e stress i've been facing lately..
e quarrel wif my dear juz nw juz made me feel down..

normally, wen i quarrel wif him.. over anything.. we'll settle it overnight, over e phone..
talk till we come to a compromise..

but today is really bad.. i can't talk it out wif him rite nw!! he's confined in army..
i guess he's facing a lot of stress.. so many restrictions.. n then, his gf is one whom he can't control..

why is everybody so unhappy abt me being in dance! Well, nt exactly EVERYone.. but my parents n dear..
trust me.. it's a dilemma for me.. my love for dance vs. being thoughtful to them.. it's selfish to onli think of myself
n do whatever i like.. ok.. if my activities dun affect them, it's ok.. but my late return frm dance prac is causing my dad to lose some sleep.. n make my dear unhappy.. but if r nt a lover of dance, u'd nt understand e feeling of dancing n performing on stage.. plus e bond wif ur fellow dancers..

hm.. maybe i'm really to occupied wif my activities tt i really have no more time n energy to think of wat others has to say..
sometimes, i juz wished tt i've all e freedom in e world to do wat i wan to.. dun have to tink of wat others has to say..
but again.. priority!!

dear told me to prioritize my stuff.. he didn't ask me to put him as e first.. but i did anyway.. but then, i didn't really cancel all my activities.. i juz try nt to increase any commitments.. perhaps tis is still nt enuff rite? hw much is enufff? cancel all?
i really dunno.. i really can't put my things in e best way dear wants.. i'm really in dilemma.. i've a lot of interest.. n urge to learn new things..

but time dun allow me to.. dear dun wan to me commit myself too much.. dear, i'm nt blaming u at all.. i know it's for my own good.. i already have too much to handle.. ya.. look at my studies.. a mess!!

hai.. depressed..

a lot of things in mind.. but nt enuff time to blog..

TIME!!! why r u so short? does it makes u more precious?? i guess it did..
dear always complain i've no time for him.. i'm really cutting as many activites down as i can to accompany him.. does dear know? it's nt tt time spent wif dear is nt enjoyable.. indeed, time is e sweetest wif him.. but wat i juz wan is tt he can support at least a few of my activites.. or at least, dun oppose.. i juz seek his understanding.. i dun even have much time wif my family mbrs or myself..

1:40AM, wed..

dear.. i really miss u..